Over the past several months, both DHS (the Department of Homeland Security) and ICE (Immigration, Customs and Enforcement) have come under fire for the dozens upon dozens of unaccounted-for deaths in immigrant detention that have come to light. This was followed by outrage over ratcheted-up enforcement operations that have spawned the largest, and perhaps most unjust, workplace raids in US history.

The response?

Instead of making strides to repair an ailing immigration system, or ensuring humane detention conditions for those in DHS custody, ICE has introduced a plan so absurd, even its die-hard fans are stumped. ICE to immigrants: "Please Deport Yourselves."

In an honor akin to hosting the next Olympics, Chicago was selected to be one of five pilot cities for the "Please Deport Me Plan." "Operation Scheduled Departure," as ICE calls it, targets undocumented immigrants with no criminal record, whom ICE believes might be convinced to deport themselves. Spanish, English, and Polish-language ads will run in ethnic news outlets throughout the city to let undocumented immigrants know about this exciting new option at their fingertips. Today marked the first full day of the new program, yet (surprise, surprise) not a single undocumented immigrant volunteered for deportation.

The incentive to "self-deport"?

Immigrants might wish to avoid traumatic separation from family, dying in a privately-traded detention facility, or having to give birth shackled, which have become the crowning achievements of our failure to pass humane immigration reform under this administration's watch. Instead of fixing what is wrong with the situation, ICE is essentially asking families to accept the least horrific option.

"This kind of claptrap idea is not a smart way to deal with immigration," said Joshua Hoyt, the Illinois Coalition for Immigrant and Refugee Rights’ Executive Director. "This is a publicity stunt by ICE to put a happy face to the brutal actions that have broken many families apart." We need real, honest, solutions that work, not to waste time focusing on undocumented immigrants with no criminal record.

Self-Deport "Solutions" Speak for Themselves:

In ICE's defense, it is a smart move to try to end the shameful raids and detentions that over 1,000 protestors rallied in Postville, Iowa, to denounce last month. The injustice of the Postville raid, which ravaged the tiny Iowa town and short-circuited an ongoing labor violations case against the raided Plant, will not soon be forgotten. The 66-and-counting immigrant men and women who have died in immigrant detention continue to haunt a sick and ailing system.

ICE is right to think that more raids and bigger prisons are not the answer. They are wrong, however, to think that immigrant men and women who have risked everything to struggle to make a life for their families here will just pack up and leave because they were targeted by an ad in the paper.

They are also mistaken if they think that bogus offers like these will even temporarily provide relief for our dysfunctional immigration system. While they may seek to distract people from the real problems we face, these types of "solutions" speak for themselves: they show just how dangerously out-of-touch these agencies have become, even with so much at stake.

In the blogs: Alternet | Huffington Post | Progress Illinois